A disturbing trend in online communications called "cyber-bullying" has added to some parents' concern for their children's safety as the new school year begins. Yet many parents remain unfamiliar with cyber-bullying and the very real threat it poses. When it comes to online safety, knowledge is power. Parents educated about cyber-bullying stand a far lesser chance of their child being victimized.
For more than six years, Philadelphia Physicians for Social Responsibility, of which I am executive director, has implemented a nationally recognized bullying prevention program in more than 47 K-8 schools within the Philadelphia School District. This school-wide violence-prevention program aims to create a safe environment characterized by warmth, positive incentives, adult involvement, and zero tolerance for bullying behaviour. Many of the program's methods will also greatly reduce cyber-bullying - with a little help from home.
Cyber-bullies discretely harass others through technology such as cell-phone text messaging and instant messaging, or via social networking sites such as MySpace or Facebook. Cyber-bullying typically includes threats of physical violence, the spread of reputation-damaging lies, or the distribution or posting of embarrassing pictures.
Nearly half of American teens have been affected by cyber-bullying. Since teens take their online culture very seriously, the impact of cyber-bullying can be tremendous. In most situations, victims do not know who cyber-bullies are; perpetrators often hide behind fictitious screen names and ambiguous e-mail addresses. Sometimes, children who were once targets of "real-world" bullying turn to cyber-bullying as a form of retaliation.
Fear created by not knowing a cyber-bully's identity does not rest once the victim logs off the Internet. That fear hangs over victims at home and school and everywhere in between. It affects victims' family life, social life, and ability to concentrate in school.
Consequences of cyber-bullying are often grim. We are aware of at least one incident in which a victim's fear ended in suicide. Other incidents resulted in violent retaliation once the victim learned the cyber-bully's identity.
Fortunately, parents can significantly reduce chances of their children being cyber-bullied or becoming cyber-bullies. Following are a few key steps that will help protect children from the Internet's dark corner of cyber-bullying:
Become familiar with the Internet. Explore the Internet to learn the lure and options available to your child.
Monitor your child's Internet activities. Become familiar with and monitor sites your child frequents, particularly social networking sites. Also, review Web site profiles your child posts.
Establish an acceptable-use policy. Establish and enforce ground rules. Set online curfews, limit Internet time, and require your children not to delete Internet history, so you may review where they have been online. Most important, make sure your children ask your permission before giving out personal information online.
Keep the computer in a shared area. Because of the Internet's many dangers, it makes good sense to keep the computer in a high-traffic area, such as the living room.
Talk to your children about their online life. Be open about your concern for their safety. Discuss sites they frequent. Know who your children's online friends are. Ask who each screen name on their buddy lists belongs to. Screen names often reveal a lot about what is going on in a child's mind.
Parents should also look for signs of cyber-bullying victimization. Signs could include excessive Internet usage, sudden negative changes in behaviour, or anger or frustration after using the Internet.
As you should with other forms of bullying, instruct your child to tell an adult when cyber-bullying occurs. Encourage your child to save instant messages, e-mails, text messages, and other evidence you might need to provide to law-enforcement officials.
Cyber-bullying is just as real and threatening as traditional bullying. While it is critical for school personnel to take a proactive approach against cyber-bullying, there are no comprehensive school-wide policies addressing the issue. Action needs to begin at home. Parents must take the first step in giving cyber-bullying the knockout blow it deserves.
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